currently listening

hashtag bibnez

This Jezebel post reminded me of the struggle dialogue I've been having all year with several folks about not changing my last name. Some think it's trite and address their unease with humor, some avoid the topic so purposefully it brings even more tension to the situation.  

(graphic from jezebel article)

I never thought I'd get married. Honestly, I didn't think it was really in the cards for me because I never envisioned finding someone who met my crushing expectations (for realsies!) . Mr. Ñ is the most caring person I've ever met. His patience is (almost) endless. He is smart as all hell and I am excited that he is on my team. I want to go on adventures with him. He brings a lot to my life, but just because he's my person doesn't mean I need to completely change my identity to commit to us as a unit.  One of my biggest challenges has been getting people to realize that me using my maiden name is intentional. It's really awkward to have to bring up time and time again, in different settings, that you are not changing your last name. I don't want to make people feel stupid when they use Nuñez, but grates on my soul so much...I just have to say something to in order to live with myself. 

For me it comes down to the simple fact that I didn't want to give up my identity, my heritage, and my family connection for a societal norm. Luckily, I'm married to a feminist whose politics align with my own, but I'm also married to a man that cares so much for me he'd never make me do something that I truly didn't want to do. To a certain extent I can understand the feelings of the men in the article; I'm sure it's shocking to hear the person you are marrying doesn't want to change their last name. But beyond an initial unease, I have zero patience for the self pitying that goes on. The fact that a man can feel so strongly about his own identity, and yet expect his partner to completely give up hers, is completely hypocritical and narrow-minded.

Like the author of the article, I make a genuine attempt to respect the decision of those women who have changed their last name. It was (hopefully) an independent and thoughtful decision and it would be totally hypocritical of me to advocate choice while not allowing others to make one just because it does not align with my beliefs. You do you, girl!

when two become one

Bliss is when one of your most inspirational heroes teams up with one of your favorite artist.
For me, this coalesced through Vandana Shiva's collaboration with Nikki McClure for her book covers.

 

My copy of Manifestos was stolen during our 2008 cross-country road trip. I very lovingly purchased it at Powell's Books in Portland, and had it tragically ripped from my car when some crazyhead broke into it in San Francisco. On New Years Day. Memories!

I've just ordered Staying Alive because I've been thinking about women, ecology, development and everything else that was uttered from Shiva's mouth during her talk at UC Berkeley. She was simply brilliant and inspiring. If you want to sit in ecofeminist glee, watch the recording of her talk while you sip on your home-grown tea and home-made crumpets. Or in my case, my genetically modified banana and evil can of Coca Cola. Baby steps, guys.

I was close enough to take this pic. Pee.in.my.pants.

weekly deadline template

I'm a visual person. I have a pretty awesome imagination, but my mind doesn't see things the way others can. I envy people that can have five simultaneous windows open in their head and can 'click' to and fro. I need paper; tree-destryoing, paper cut-giving, clutter-provoking PAPER. It's just how I process, y'all. I couldn't find anything I liked online, visually and design-wise (maybe they're the same thing?), so I created my own. Download! Use! If you want the pdf version, email me, or you can certainly create this on your own in like...5 seconds. If you can't tell already, it's in the most commonly used font out there- Helvetica. 

currently craving: books

I'm currently craving the following books. Give me all of the booooks!

currently listening

satie helps me concentrate. 

so far, so awesome

Moving to Oakland has been one of the easiest transitions in my life. I've moved enough (from a cold tiny student flat in Manchester to a village in Africa) to appreciate the ease with which my life in Oakalnd has taken root. There have been many wonderful experiences since we arrived in July. I'm so thankful to have moved to a place where I can be closer to wonderful friends. I had been missing the presence of people that know me on different levels while living in Long Beach. It's somewhat bittersweet, though; Long Beach is a wonderland that will always hold my heart.