this week: ugly ass things on the internet

Like many men and women of Americaland, I spend a good amount of time window e-shopping.

 In my research I encounter some u g l y things. Why do these exist? No one knows. 

Looking like you're wearing shiny, moist beef jerky is SO in right now. Can't afford to spend $164 on this "tunic"? Don't worry, just make your own jerky at home, or better yet, buy some Slim Jims and staple them together. #OnTrend

I mean, common. This thing made me LOL and then pissed me off because... why? 

WHY H&M Home? You're better than this. #Hurmp?

Just in case your boobs or biceps get cold while attending the Zombies Are Models, Too gala, Nordstroms provides this LBD for the very reasonable price of $260. #OstrichStrip

Frumpy with a side of Boring as Fuck? J Crew has got you covered
with possibly the blandest color block concept this year. #BrownOnBrown

this week: ugly ass things on the internet

Like many men and women of Americaland, I spend a good amount of time window e-shopping. In my research I encounter some u g l y things. Why do these exist? No one knows. 

1. In case you want to look like a fuzzy old car sponge, Forever 21 has knitted a cardigan and retails it for $30.  

2. I don't even know what Madewell was trying to achieve with this one. Common, Madewell. You're better than that.

3. If you're ever unsure if your outfit is cute, quickly log on to ASOS and look in their sale section. Odds are you will find something that defies human understanding. This leopard print parka is no exception. There is no WAY that model was happy to wear that. Fake smile.